How to Attend Weddings on a Budget
Are you ready for wedding season? It's that time of year again, filled with love, celebration, and a whirlwind of ceremonies.
I remember a summer several years ago when four of my family members got married within three months of each other. Three of them required plane rides back home, and one was a destination wedding in Hawaii.
A few years later, the wedding invitations poured in again, and I attended wedding after wedding throughout the summer and fall. A best friend even planned a destination wedding in Oaxaca, Mexico.
As much as I love attending weddings, there's one thing I don't adore—overspending. Between bridal showers, bachelorette parties, bridesmaid dresses, wedding gifts, travel expenses, and more, the costs of being in a wedding or attending one quickly add up.
In fact, according to Bankrate, people can expect to spend an average of $611 to attend a wedding in 2023. Most people budget for monthly expenses like food and housing. It's easy to overlook budgeting to attend weddings until they're upon us because they don't happen as frequently.
If you find yourself with a stack of wedding invitations and a tight budget, you've come to the right place. Read on for some valuable tips to help you navigate attending weddings without breaking the bank.
Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links. This means that I may receive compensation when you click on a product link or purchase an item linked on this site. Click here for details.
1 | Prioritize your attendance
Attending every wedding you're invited to might be financially burdensome. Although it's disappointing, you may have to say no to attending some weddings and their related events.
Evaluate your relationship with each friend or couple and prioritize the weddings you truly can't miss. These might be weddings of immediate family members, your closest friends, or those with sentimental value because you've been an integral part of their lives or journey as a couple.
Another way to decide whether or not to attend is to look at your calendar. Consider your work schedule, personal obligations, and other events or trips you may have planned. You may not be able to attend some weddings because you're unavailable on those days and times.
Even if you are available, ask yourself how many weddings you can comfortably attend without overextending yourself. Narrow down your choices so that you can dedicate a larger portion of your budget to travel, accommodations, gifts, and other related expenses for those specific weddings.
You can participate more fully in the weddings that matter the most to you and attend them without worrying about your finances.
If you're worried about how the couple will respond to your declination, be open and honest about your limitations. Express your regret for not being able to attend while conveying your good wishes.
Most couples will understand because they understand the financial realities of attending a wedding.
You can find an alternative way to celebrate by sending a card, providing a small gift, or taking the couple out to dinner. Your gesture will let the couple know you're celebrating and wishing them well even if you can't physically attend.
If you're in the bridal party, you may feel obligated to attend every event and even cover some of the costs of the bride. It's okay to be selective and decline events that are beyond your budget.
Prioritize the main wedding ceremony and reception. The most important duty for someone in the wedding party is to assist and stand by the bride or groom on the wedding day.
2 | Set a realistic budget
The next step is to establish a realistic budget for the wedding season and ideally, for each wedding you plan to attend. Determine the maximum amount you're comfortable spending and stick to it.
Consider all the potential expenses. Start with the obvious ones, such as travel costs, accommodation, attire, and gifts, but don't forget about other potential expenses like transportation to and from the venue, pre-wedding events, and meals during the wedding weekend.
You may want to break down the budget even further so you can visualize where your money will be allocated and make adjustments if needed.
For example, you might allocate a larger portion of your budget towards travel if it involves a long-distance trip or allocate more for gifts if it's a close family member's wedding.
Don't forget to track your expenses! Planning to attend several weddings often starts months in advance. It's easy to forget or lose track of how much you spent on what as the weeks and months go by.
Keep a record of all your wedding-related expenses to ensure you stay within your budget.
Use a spreadsheet or a budgeting app to track your spending and compare it against your predetermined budget. This makes it easier to think twice about every purchase you're considering before you make it.
Having a concrete budget and tracking your spending will keep you from exceeding your limits and regretting it later. There's nothing more calming than knowing you're in a financially sound situation.
3 | Plan ahead for travel
You're lucky if the weddings you're invited to are in your city. If the weddings require any travel, plan ahead to maximize savings and reduce transportation and accommodation costs.
As soon as you receive a wedding invitation that requires travel, start researching and booking your transportation and accommodation. Flight and train or bus tickets tend to be cheaper when booked ahead of time, so keep an eye out for promotional fares or sales.
You may have to accept an inconvenient time such as taking a redeye, an early morning flight, or one that has connections to stick to your budget. It may be worth flying into an airport that’s further away but has cheaper flights and then driving the rest of the way.
Depending on the distance and location, carpooling or using public transportation could be cost-effective alternatives. Carpooling with other wedding guests or using ride-sharing services can help split the expenses, making it more affordable.
When it comes to lodging, you might find that the couple has reserved a block of rooms at a hotel at a group rate. This is usually the best option for convenience. The couple may have the wedding at the hotel or provide transportation for guests staying at the hotel to and from the wedding venue.
Look at other hotels in the area, especially if it's a popular destination. When I attended a wedding in Hawaii, the wedding was held at a fancy hotel on Waikiki Beach. I stayed at another nearby hotel that was cheaper but still comfortable and within walking distance of the wedding venue.
Or explore alternative lodging options such as Airbnb, VRBO, and other vacation rental platforms that offer private rooms, apartments, or entire homes. These options sometimes provide more space and amenities compared to hotels at a lower cost.
You usually get kitchen access to cook or heat up meals if needed. This helps for saving on meals and when you just don’t want to leave the place to eat.
Another option is to inquire about staying with friends or family who live in or near the wedding destination. This can significantly reduce or eliminate accommodation expenses altogether and add to the fun and camaraderie of the wedding experience.
Additional tips:
Sign up for alerts for when flight prices drop
Consider booking non-refundable tickets (often the cheapest)
If you have a Costco or Sam's Club membership, book hotels through the company for discounted rates or other perks.
Use credit card points to pay for flights and/or hotel.
Check baggage fees. Some airlines charge you for checking in bags or some fairs don't allow a full-size carry-on.
Pay baggage fees in advance. Some airlines charge less for checking in bags if you pay more than 24 hours before departure.
Pack strategically so you don't have to check in baggage unless absolutely necessary.
4 | Rent, borrow, or shop second-hand
It's possible to save money without sacrificing style. Instead of splurging on a new outfit for each wedding, try renting formal attire or borrowing from friends or family.
Websites like Rent the Runway offer stylish options including designer pieces at a fraction of the cost of purchasing them. The company has all sorts of dresses to match a wedding dress code and your style and preferences.
Don't hesitate to reach out to friends or family members who have previously attended weddings or have formal attire suitable for the occasion. Ask if they have any pieces they'd be willing to lend. You might discover hidden gems in their closets that perfectly suit your style.
Before you rent or borrow, be sure to look over any rules and discuss things like if the item can be altered, what happens if the clothing gets damaged, and who pays for cleaning it afterward.
You can also shop second-hand stores whether brick-and-mortar or online. Browse thrift stores, consignment shops, and online platforms specializing in secondhand clothing.
You can find gently used and sometimes even new formal attire at significantly reduced prices. Thrifting not only offers budget-friendly options but also contributes to sustainable fashion by giving pre-loved garments a second life.
Don't forget that accessories and shoes can also go a long way to making a dress into a complete outfit. Jewelry, scarves, ties, belts, and shoes can significantly alter the appearance of an outfit.
By switching up accessories and adding statement pieces, you can create unique looks for each wedding without the need for a new wardrobe.
Lastly, consider if purchasing a new dress is the most economical way to go. If you’re going to wear the dress several times, it may be more cost effective to buy it and then sell it when you’re done wearing it.
5 | Get creative with gifts
When it comes to gift giving, everyone has an opinion on what to give and how much to give. More and more often, I read about guests who feel they have to give the equivalent of the cost of their meals and brides and grooms who expect that as well.
At a high-end wedding, that can mean giving $100 or more per person. If that's not your take or within your budget, give a different amount or a different gift. There's no hard and fast rule that says you have to give a gift of a certain amount.
If you like shopping from a couple’s registry, try buying something early on when there are more options at a variety of prices on the list.
As the wedding date gets closer, you may find that only pricier items are left. Or buy something meaningful but less expensive like a picture frame engraved with the couple’s names and wedding date.
Another option is to contribute to a group gift. By pooling resources with other guests, you can collectively contribute to a more substantial gift that might be beyond your individual budget.
You can try getting creative with gifts. Personalized heartfelt gestures still show your love and appreciation for the couple.
Handmade crafts such as a scrapbook of memories, a piece of artwork, or a customized piece of jewelry
Thoughtful handwritten letters
Your time and skills to assist with wedding preparations
A personalized experience such as organizing a date night or cooking a special meal for the couple
Offer your expertise if you have skills or knowledge that could help them
A final option is to send a gift later. General etiquette is to send a gift within a year of the wedding. This might work if you know you’ll be in a better financial position to buy a gift later on.
6 | Make it a vacation
If you like the wedding destination and want to visit there, why not make it a vacation? You can be more flexible with your budget as well by using some of your vacation funds to attend the wedding.
Extend your stay a few days to visit the area and local attractions. Give yourself time to explore without feeling rushed. Additionally, traveling during off-peak times or on weekdays can often result in lower travel and accommodation costs.
Many places have free or low-cost activities and sites such as parks, beaches, hiking trails, and public gardens. The beautiful scenery might be just what you need to unwind at minimal to no cost.
Rather than booking expensive guided tours or excursions, create your own day trips or self-guided tours. Look for local festivals, markets, cultural events, and promotions for dining or entertainment that may be happening during your visit. These activities can provide a unique cultural experience without breaking the bank.
Another option is to connect with other wedding guests. You might find other guests interested in exploring the destination together. By joining forces, you can share transportation costs, split expenses, and even plan group activities, making it more affordable and enjoyable for everyone.
Destination weddings
Destination weddings to resorts with wedding packages can come with their own considerations. Before agreeing to attend,
Ask if the resort or hotel has a package deal for attendees and what’s included in it (e.g., rooms, meals, transportation, resort fees).
If you’re traveling solo, ask if there is another wedding guest you could share a room with while there.
Ask what activities and meals guests are expected to participate in while there. Destination resort weddings are often multi-day events and you may not have the option to eat or visit places outside the resort.
Ask the couple or the resort what you’re expected to cover. If you’re a bridesmaid or groomsman, the couple may plan to cover some of the hotel, wedding outfits, activities, etc. for the wedding party because they know the high cost of attending a multi-day destination wedding.
By implementing the tips above, you can attend weddings with excitement while maintaining financial peace of mind. Remember, it's the memories, connections, and love experienced during these special occasions that make them unforgettable, not the amount of money spent.
What tips do you have for attending weddings on a budget?
